Unpopular opinion
Unpopular Opinion: Getting a little tired of hearing everybody’s takes on AI.
Unpopular Opinion: Water is good, actually, and we should all be drinking it several times a day.
Unpopular Opinion: As delicious as ice cream is, when it’s freezing outside, I don’t really want any. Sorry! Maybe wait until it’s summer before you start selling frozen treats?
Unpopular Opinion: Netflix has gone downhill.
Unpopular Opinion: When I work really hard on a post, people shouldn’t just scroll past it. They should take a moment out of their day to read it.
Unpopular Opinion: To be clear, I mean actually read it. Don’t just open it, see if you agree with the headline, and decide on that basis whether to leave a like. I spend a lot of time on these things. How would you feel if I was just pretending to engage with your writing?
Unpopular Opinion: Last year I stayed up so late, like three nights in a row, just working on this one post—it was starting to become a whole thing. I was irascible. I was late to meetings. My wife kept waking up when I came to bed because the bedroom door was creaky. Seriously, I was opening it as slowly as I could. It didn’t matter. A moment or two of silent gliding then…creak! That’s all it takes to wake her up. She’s not a heavy sleeper. Anyway, guess what happened when I posted it? No seriously, guess. How many subscribers do you think I got?
Unpopular Opinion: Trick question. I lost two subscribers.
Unpopular Opinion: I mean, their loss, right?
Unpopular Opinion: But that was a long time ago—those were rookie mistakes. I’ve learned a lot about posting since then. Start with a big, sexy hook. Don’t set up things you can’t pay off. Don’t try to do two posts in one. “Slower doesn’t make it funnier.” With all that under my belt I feel like I’ve finally made it to escape velocity: sustainable, linear growth. You write n posts, you get m subs. It’s the ratio that makes the world go round.
Unpopular Opinion: Just because something’s been trending one way, that doesn’t mean it’s going to stay that way forever.
Unpopular Opinion: This could all end—all of it—at any moment.
Unpopular Opinion: The fundamental attitude of the universe towards human affairs is one of unredeemed, unrelenting indifference.
Unpopular Opinion: Nobody owes you anything. They could pick up and leave today, subscribe to Heather Cox Richardson or Andrew Tate or Nate Silver. You can’t stop them. How could you? No one like you ever really has control over other people.
Unpopular Opinion: Wait, the post is almost over. Where are you going? You’re not seriously going to stop reading.
Unpopular Opinion: Stop kidding around. Come on.
Unpopular Opinion: Look—please…just stay. Please…
Unpopular Opinion: I promise I can change. I know this isn’t working. We both know. Nobody’s arguing otherwise. Whatever you want, I can change everything—I swear. Please. Whatever you want.
Unpopular Opinion: This time is different.
Unpopular Opinion: Come on, don’t make me beg.
Unpopular Opinion: …
Unpopular Opinion: I’m begging you.
Unpopular Opinion: I kind of like it when people give human names to their pets. There are 240 million dogs named Spot. Isn’t it nice when you meet a new dog and you ask what’s his name and the owner’s like, “Oh, this little fella? This is Fred!”
Substack should require everyone to share 5 unpopular opinions.
Novelyn Kate gives an actually novel opinion. Nominative determinism strikes again...